A tailor-made Prabhakar – By Naveen Frank


 

 

 

 

 














By Naveen Frank, Sharjah, UAE

Jul 27: My association with Prabhakar goes back to 1983. As a young under-graduate, I was one of the 21 other young men who volunteered to attend a Social Service Camp held at Bajjodi, Mangaluru. Our task was to help build an approach road from the main road to the colony. The camp organizers decided that each of the volunteers would live with a family in that locality for the three weeks we were there. I was assigned the home of Prabhakar and his family. For our manual work, we were paid Rs 10 per day which I would hand over to the family head in return for their hospitality.

Years passed. With further studies and family commitments, the experience was almost forgotten. I lost track of Prabhakar and his family. Almost 4 decades later, I decided to find out the whereabouts of Prabhakar. His Bajjodi home was no longer there. I finally traced him to his youngest daughter’s home at Shakthi Nagar in Mangaluru.

Prabhakar was no longer the young and energetic man I had last seen. At 72, he looked old, feeble, and greyed. What surprised me was when he pulled out a 39-year-old black& white photograph clicked outside his Bajjodi home with his family and me.

Prabhakar was born in a small hamlet of Kumble, in the Kasaragod district, of Kerala. He was one of 6 children born to his parents belonging to the weavers’ community of Kerala.

I was overwhelmed to hear his story which was more of a roller – coaster ride with its handful of joys and loads of challenges. In spite of all the odds, he has managed to hold his head high.

The first tragedy which struck was when Prabhakar contracted polio at the tender age of 3. He lost strength in both his legs, thus forcing him to crawl on his hands to move around.

When he was 8 years old, the local doctors advised him to use crutches. Only then, he started walking with the crutches. This enabled him to attend school. But unfortunately, he could not complete his SSLC, which was the basic requirement to get a government job on a handicapped quota.

Realizing that the bigger city of Mangaluru had far more opportunities to offer for his handicapped son than the small village they lived in, Prabhakar’s father decided to move to the city. Initially Prabhakar learnt to tie beedis from home just to add to the family’s tiny income.

It was in the year 1973, Fr Mullers Hospital, Mangaluru had launched a rehabilitation programme for the physically challenged. He took this opportunity. He was given accommodation at St Joseph’s Ashram in Jeppu. It was here that he slowly started to learn stitching. The meager stipend that he got was certainly not enough for him.

Some good soul recommended Prabhakar to a semi-government manufacturing unit in Bengaluru where most of the personnel were handicapped like him. He went to Bengaluru and got the job. But the orphanage that he was accommodated in, had time restrictions on the inmates – they had to report in by 8 pm. Prabhakar’s job sometimes involved night shifts. He could not afford any other paid accommodation. So, he was forced to relocate back to Mangaluru. Prabhakar went back to tying beedis.

He was keen on gaining the skill of tailoring and working as one. But everybody around him dissuaded him and told him not to pursue it as it involved pedalling with his useless legs and he would not succeed. But Prabhakar, hailing from a ‘Magga Neykar’ (weavers) community, was hell- bent on learning the trade. Finally, an elderly man, also a handicapped, agreed to train him in his tailoring shop which had only 4 sewing machines. He visited the shop every Sunday for about 6 months. He slowly learnt the art of cutting and stitching simple clothes. Not satisfied with his practice, back home, he would unstitch his own clothes and stitch them up again, just to gain practice.

He finally gained confidence in himself and cautiously threw open his home as a little tailoring shop, but only restricted to mending old clothes and alterations. And that was the start of a new beginning.

Prabhakar now wanted to move higher. He aspired to start his own family. But who would risk their daughter’s hand to a handicapped man, who could barely walk? But Lady Luck did smile on him.

He got a proposal from a distant uncle who had his youngest daughter to be married. His earlier three daughters had been given in marriage to men who had all turned drunkards and losers. So, for his youngest child, he was determined to find any man who did not have the habit of drinking, even if it meant he was physically handicapped. Thus, in 1977, Prabhakar was married to Sharada. They settled in a small home at Bajjodi Mangaluru. In a short span of time, they were blessed with three lovely children, a boy and 2 girls. A contented Prabhakar continued with his tailoring job to support his family.

He also got a further breakthrough when the Lions Club in Mangaluru, which was coordinating a Rehabilitation programme for the physically handicapped people in Wenlock Hospital, gave him a windfall offer. To prepare abdomen and spinal cord belts for the patients. There was a steady flow of work which kept him happy. Prabhakar now started to earn well.

Just when it seemed that his family life was going well, another sad incident occurred, when his three children were still very small. A young and trusted relative of his started frequenting his home. Being very familiar, the relative got close with Prabhakar’s wife. They often went out on errands together. But our naïve Prabhakar suspected nothing until his good neighbours reported their observations of their closeness outside of their home.

To save his marriage, he decided to return to his native place in Kerala, where he hoped that this young man would behave himself amidst other members of the family and mend his ways.

It was a routine for his wife to take the finished belts and deliver them to the Wenlock hospital in Mangaluru. Prabhakar recalls, one Friday, she went as usual to deliver the Belts. She would usually return home before 3 pm. But there was no sign of her. He now started to worry as it was sundown. The little daughter who was just 3 years old was hungry and started to cry. There was no food at home and Prabhakar was in no capacity to cook. He sent his son to a nearby shop, bought bananas and made some tea and satisfied the children’s hunger for that night.

He soon learnt that his wife and the relative had both planned to elope together. Prabhakar was devastated. But the good-hearted Prabhakar still firmly believes that his wife was given a country medicine where one forgets family and children. Otherwise, he says, it was impossible for a mother to abandon her little children. Since his extended family was put to great shame, he decided never to take her back ever again. Prabhakar was now left with three little children to look after. With his handicap, he knew he could not make it alone. He went to his mother’s house for help. But he could not hold on there for long as his parents were also aged. In a short span of just 6 months, he was again forced to return to Mangaluru, this time he settled himself at Shakthi Nagar, near Kulshekar, Mangaluru.

When he had lost all hope, another blessing, in disguise, came his way. A neighbourhood girl from his native place who had just got married learnt that her husband had already married and had a son. She refused to stay with him and returned to her parents’ home. Finally, with a promise from Prabhakar not to go back to his previous wife, Geetha married Prabhakar in 1989. He was again blessed with another daughter from his second marriage.

Prabhakar’s family life now seemed to be back on track. His children attended school and grew well in Mangaluru. He married off his elder daughters. His only son went to the Middle East on employment and worked there until he was 31 years of age.

The biggest of all tragedies was soon to befall Prabhakar. His only son who had just returned from Qatar was found hanging in his own room in their home one morning. Prabhakar recalls, he had showed no signs of unhappiness. He had no financial problems, no vices, and no bad friends. They found a suicide note beside the body which he had shredded to bits before he took his life. The forensic experts did their best to put it together to try and learn the reason for his taking this ultimate and tragic step. Even to this day the reason for his son’s suicide remains a mystery to the family.

Prabhakar could not stay in that same house with the painful memory of his son’s tragedy still afresh. So they then shifted to his youngest son- in- law’s home, also located at Shakti Nagar, Mangaluru. Even today he continues to stitch whatever comes to his doorstep. He now lives with his wife, his daughter, son in in law and two granddaughters.

Another challenge of a different kind surfaced for Prabhakar. Old age was catching up. At 64, Prabhakar was no longer able to use his crutches, as his body was frail and his shoulder muscles were no longer strong enough to hold his weight. So, he was forced to give up his dream job of making handicap belts, as he was unable to personally commute and buy the right material for this job.

Prabhakar reflects on his life and concludes that the natural physical challenges did not keep him from achieving his goal, from having a normal life, but his wounded heart is yet to heal from the two swords that were stabbed into his heart by his first wife and his only beloved son.

 

 

 

  

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Comment on this article

  • Iftikhar, Mumbai

    Mon, Aug 15 2022

    Very heart touching. Naveen really amazing story. I am so happy to know about one of your hidden talent.

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  • RK, NA

    Mon, Aug 08 2022

    Beautifully written ode to human resilience! Human portraits are your forte Frank, and I look forward to the next one.

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  • RK, NA

    Mon, Aug 08 2022

    Beautifully written ode to human resilience! Human portraits are your forte, Frank. Looking forward to the next one :)

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  • Mahendran Tamilmani, Fujairah

    Sat, Jul 30 2022

    No doubt, the prevalence of us always see green on the other side and believe we are the only one experiencing hefty challenges, Threats and tumbles. Mr Naveen, it's fortunate to read your article; well Written, you exuberantly narrated the 70 years life of Mr Prabakaran with in a page and make us to feel the struggles and how he righteously overcome the Hurdles, grab The lady Luck at every opportunity. Great work; I love to see more real heroes stories from you.

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  • Ivan Fernandes, Ashoknagar / Mangalore

    Sat, Jul 30 2022

    Kudos to you Naveen for taking time to spend your holidays in Mangalore in a very insightful manner and trying to find people that you were somehow associated in your childhood like Prabhakar, Manguli, some of our primary school teachers and retired priests. You will be greatly rewarded through the blessings from such people. Your art of narrating stories on these unknown heros is a treasure for all readers like me and a realization of how kind God has been to us. Sometimes we do not understand why some people have to struggle all through their lives both physically and mentally. I hope Prakhakar gets some solace now in the company of his daughter, son-in-law and grand children who have happily accepted to take care of him. God bless you always for such great deeds towards these deserving unknown souls.

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  • Shalini Prabhakar, Shakti Nagar/ Mangalore

    Fri, Jul 29 2022

      We sincerely thank Sri Naveen Frank for making time during his brief holiday in Mangalore, locating and visiting my father after all these years. Our father has always made us feel proud and be happy and satisfied with what we have.  Never have we considered him as an invalid as he conducted all his parental duties and responsibilities like any other able- bodied person. We hope this story of my father will inspire many less fortunate people out there who feel that all is lost .My father has taught us never to give up hope, no matter how big the challenge .He lived his life with dignity even when he was at his lowest. We could not have asked for a better parent than my father. We thank Daijiworld for publishing this story and letting the world know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Shalini Prabhakar Shakti Nagar Mangalore.    

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  • Premnath Kudva, Mangalore

    Fri, Jul 29 2022

    This article by Naveen Frank was quite touching . Only stories of people who become millionaires are known, but bulk of the people are not like them. Like Prabhakar in this story they struggle through life and are lucky if they wind up in the same place they start. Great job by Naveen in locating Prabhakar after so many years.

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  • Stephen Menezes, Shirthady/Dubai

    Fri, Jul 29 2022

    Where there is a will there is a way, Prabhakar proved this proverb absolutely right. Sad to hear about the two tragedies in his life, they should have been his strength rather than bane in his life, very unfortunate. Wonderful narrative Frank and I must congratulate you for your dedication serving the needy in your youth and now tracing him after several decades.

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  • Nancy Kamath, Mumbai

    Fri, Jul 29 2022

    A heart rendering article. One can imagin the determination and courage Prabhakar had to go through his ordeal. Bless him and his family and all those who have been his 'guardian angels' to see him through these times. Life opens our eyes through incidences such as what Prabhakar went through. Wonder how many "Prabhakars" we see around us and yet don't realize it. Thanks Naveen, hats off to you for bringing to light what we can achieve and do, no matter what. Bless you for taking pains to open our eyes through this very well written article!!!

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  • Eulalia Dsouza, Bejai/ Mangalore

    Fri, Jul 29 2022

    Dear Naveen, you have a heart that understands other's hearts. It simply explains how different thinking you have towards the less privileged as well. Prabhakar's life is an example of many families may be which we have not discovered. But for you to remember him with love and efforts to trace him is really appreciative and remarkable good gesture of yours. Being physically challenged himself Prabhakar's challenges in life are not short of a story for a movie. But then, the way you have written it is heart warming and laudable in any way. Saying goes " when it rains it pours" so was it for Prabhakar. Problems over, problems. But loosing a grown up son in the way it happened to him is unacceptable. Just as he thought he could relax because son was doing well, life hit him hard. Imagine his feelings loosing the only hope in life. Thank you Naveen for this wonderful article. Keep writing more. I also know how you go and meet your teachers / lecturers who have taught you in school / colleges. Hats off dear friend. Stay Blessed always.

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  • Anne Prabhu, Bangalore

    Fri, Jul 29 2022

    So heartwarming to read what you have written Naveen. So kind of you to search for him n reach out to him. 👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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  • Oneal dcunha, Dubai / Bangalore

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Excellent narrative of life of Prabakar , the title was pun intended. As much as I wanted to stop with reading only the title , the ups and downs of his life was very touching . Even the seemingly ordinary lives have extra ordinary stories to tell, provided that you have an narrator like Navin to capture it in letter and spirit , the narrative was lucid , probably we have another RK Narayan of our times .

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  • John Monteiro, Bondel, Mangaluru

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    All the adjectives that I could have justifiably used have been exhausted by previous respondents. Beyond endorsing the previous responses, I would suggest that you compile and publish your similar writings in a book form. This one would easily qualify for a film script. Way to go Naveen. More strength to your pen – or is it computer keys? Regards.

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  • Anand Titus pereira, Sakleshpur

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Naveen, the real-life story, you have narrated not only touched a chord deep down but also transformed my inner self. I looked at it as two stories weaved into one. The first story is that of Prabhakar and the second one is how an empathy filled Naveen, is hell bent on locating Prabhakar and see what good he can do for his family. Just shows your spirited kindness, love and concern for people, whether ,rich or poor. Thank you Naveen for this beautiful story, which also is a reminder that most of us are blessed much more than we deserve. Love your style of writing and please keep sending in more real life stories

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  • Anthony D'Silva, Udyavara / Fujairah UAE

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Well written real-life story. For us, lot of lessons to learn from Prabhakar's life. Thanks to Naveen.

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  • DONALD, mangalore

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    very heart touching

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  • Kishan Tauro, Karkala

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    A Great Life story, Beautifully written Naveen, a movie or biography can made out of his life story. dont know what was the thing pushing him to move forward. Hope some people can donate or look in his elder age pass peacefully.

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  • Jessie D Souza, Bikkernakatta/Sharjah

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Very touching story of the tailor. Despite his physical infirmity, he had to through so many other hurdles and tragedies and yet he flashes smile in the last photo with his daughter's family. Lot of lessons to learn from the hardships of the poor and the one that stands out is that Mr Naveen Frank tracing the family and being with them once again after 39 years. Thank you for being the voice of the poor and God bless.

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  • Valerian Baretto, Bantwal Bangalore Rajajinagar

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Well written Naveen. Keep it up. I am none other than your second cousin and last I had met you was sometime in 1980s in Hassan.

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  • Ivan Frank, Kankanady, Mangalore

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Years pass but memories remain . Some happy and some not so happy. And to go back and relive those memories with the people associated with those memories is noteworthy. It requires lot of time and patience . Naveen has relived his memories with Prabhakar by taking the time and efort to locate them, visit them and bring joy in their lives.

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  • Geetha Arockiam, USA

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    Such is life. Touched by his remembrance of you & you- for having reached out. Perhaps there is a higher power at work here. Blessings to both of you.

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  • Anita Cordeiro, Mangalore

    Thu, Jul 28 2022

    People like Tailor Prabhakar are the real life heroes, who face challenges and overcome them. Mr. Frank, I truly appreciate your sensitiveness to the struggles of people around you. Bringing out Tailor Prabhakar 's story is perhaps your kind gesture towards the magnanimity of the person. Thank you for a lovely real life story of a "real" hero.

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  • Anita Cordeiro, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    People like Tailor Prabhakar are the real life heroes, who face challenges and overcome them. Mr. Frank, I truly appreciate your sensitiveness to the struggles of people around you. Bringing out Tailor Prabhakar 's story is perhaps your kind gesture towards the magnanimity of the person. Thank you for a lovely real life story of a "real" hero.

    DisAgree Agree [3] Reply Report Abuse

  • Geeta Pereira, Sakleshpur/ Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Well written article. What I admire most is that you took time out and met Prabhakar and listened to his life story. I am sure he feels less disheartened that he has confided his fears, his anguish and his failures . Thank you Naveen for sharing this story of the poor polio stricken tailor who still has life goals and ambitions . I feel inspired .

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  • Rita, Germany

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Very well written.When we see around everyone has his own life story ,tragody ,or luck etc.One is not like the other.We have only see around and listen to their struggle to live or unknown problems to face.

    DisAgree Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rita, Germany

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Very well written.When we see around everyone has his own life story ,tragody ,or luck etc.One is not like the other.We have only see around and listen to their struggle to live or unknown problems to face.

    DisAgree Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rita, Germany

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Very well written.When we see around everyone has his own life story ,tragody ,or luck etc.One is not like the other.We have only see around and listen to their struggle to live or unknown problems to face.

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • Asif, Calicut

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Some hero's don't wear capes. One such is Prabhakar. The life of the ordinary man is often untold. Thanks for sharing Naveen Frank.

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  • Antony D'Cunha, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Remarkable courage and "never say die" approach to life adopted by Prabhakar, will surely inspire many to face life and overcome challenges. Very well written with full narrative. Thanks to the author for his time and skill.

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  • I J S Shet, Mangalore. Rosario

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    The matter of fact manner in which Author Naveen Frank has narrated his personal experiences is indeed heart touching and lends added value to Tailor Prabhakar's saga. What a courageous life and struggle faced head-on by this human. It reveals a lot and the vicissitudes that a human can encounter. What a inspiring narrative. Thanks.

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  • Prakash Pinto, Brigade pinnacle, Derebail, Mangalore.

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Very well written Naveen... Heart touching real life story.

    DisAgree Agree [13] Reply Report Abuse

  • Manoj Louis, Kavoor

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    A big salute to Mr Prabhakar 4 fighting all odds. Wat a personality to withstand d roller coaster ride in life. Best wishes Sir

    DisAgree Agree [19] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dev, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    Heart touching real life story in the lives of ordinary people who showed extraordinary efforts and courage to overcome their shortcomings and disabilities in leading a life full of rollercoaster ride. Sad he still has those 2 tragedies he encountered hurting him. His son could've taken a leaf out of his dad's life to overcome his own personal trauma he didn't wanted to share to lower the burden of hurting. Thank you Naveen Frank for an autobiography of simple person who was part of your life for a brief period.

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  • francis lobo, Mangalore

    Wed, Jul 27 2022

    A great life story of struggle and happiness. In these trying times, Prabhakr's life is a reflection of the people who rise and come up surmounting physical disabilities. He should be an example to able persons and especially children/youth who think of suicide for silly reasons. Thanks, Naveen for a wonderful but challenging the odds life story of Prabhakar

    DisAgree [1] Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse


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Title: A tailor-made Prabhakar – <i>By Naveen Frank</i>



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