By Naveen Frank, Sharjah, UAE
Jul 27: My association with Prabhakar goes back to 1983. As a young under-graduate, I was one of the 21 other young men who volunteered to attend a Social Service Camp held at Bajjodi, Mangaluru. Our task was to help build an approach road from the main road to the colony. The camp organizers decided that each of the volunteers would live with a family in that locality for the three weeks we were there. I was assigned the home of Prabhakar and his family. For our manual work, we were paid Rs 10 per day which I would hand over to the family head in return for their hospitality.
Years passed. With further studies and family commitments, the experience was almost forgotten. I lost track of Prabhakar and his family. Almost 4 decades later, I decided to find out the whereabouts of Prabhakar. His Bajjodi home was no longer there. I finally traced him to his youngest daughter’s home at Shakthi Nagar in Mangaluru.
Prabhakar was no longer the young and energetic man I had last seen. At 72, he looked old, feeble, and greyed. What surprised me was when he pulled out a 39-year-old black& white photograph clicked outside his Bajjodi home with his family and me.
Prabhakar was born in a small hamlet of Kumble, in the Kasaragod district, of Kerala. He was one of 6 children born to his parents belonging to the weavers’ community of Kerala.
I was overwhelmed to hear his story which was more of a roller – coaster ride with its handful of joys and loads of challenges. In spite of all the odds, he has managed to hold his head high.
The first tragedy which struck was when Prabhakar contracted polio at the tender age of 3. He lost strength in both his legs, thus forcing him to crawl on his hands to move around.
When he was 8 years old, the local doctors advised him to use crutches. Only then, he started walking with the crutches. This enabled him to attend school. But unfortunately, he could not complete his SSLC, which was the basic requirement to get a government job on a handicapped quota.
Realizing that the bigger city of Mangaluru had far more opportunities to offer for his handicapped son than the small village they lived in, Prabhakar’s father decided to move to the city. Initially Prabhakar learnt to tie beedis from home just to add to the family’s tiny income.
It was in the year 1973, Fr Mullers Hospital, Mangaluru had launched a rehabilitation programme for the physically challenged. He took this opportunity. He was given accommodation at St Joseph’s Ashram in Jeppu. It was here that he slowly started to learn stitching. The meager stipend that he got was certainly not enough for him.
Some good soul recommended Prabhakar to a semi-government manufacturing unit in Bengaluru where most of the personnel were handicapped like him. He went to Bengaluru and got the job. But the orphanage that he was accommodated in, had time restrictions on the inmates – they had to report in by 8 pm. Prabhakar’s job sometimes involved night shifts. He could not afford any other paid accommodation. So, he was forced to relocate back to Mangaluru. Prabhakar went back to tying beedis.
He was keen on gaining the skill of tailoring and working as one. But everybody around him dissuaded him and told him not to pursue it as it involved pedalling with his useless legs and he would not succeed. But Prabhakar, hailing from a ‘Magga Neykar’ (weavers) community, was hell- bent on learning the trade. Finally, an elderly man, also a handicapped, agreed to train him in his tailoring shop which had only 4 sewing machines. He visited the shop every Sunday for about 6 months. He slowly learnt the art of cutting and stitching simple clothes. Not satisfied with his practice, back home, he would unstitch his own clothes and stitch them up again, just to gain practice.
He finally gained confidence in himself and cautiously threw open his home as a little tailoring shop, but only restricted to mending old clothes and alterations. And that was the start of a new beginning.
Prabhakar now wanted to move higher. He aspired to start his own family. But who would risk their daughter’s hand to a handicapped man, who could barely walk? But Lady Luck did smile on him.
He got a proposal from a distant uncle who had his youngest daughter to be married. His earlier three daughters had been given in marriage to men who had all turned drunkards and losers. So, for his youngest child, he was determined to find any man who did not have the habit of drinking, even if it meant he was physically handicapped. Thus, in 1977, Prabhakar was married to Sharada. They settled in a small home at Bajjodi Mangaluru. In a short span of time, they were blessed with three lovely children, a boy and 2 girls. A contented Prabhakar continued with his tailoring job to support his family.
He also got a further breakthrough when the Lions Club in Mangaluru, which was coordinating a Rehabilitation programme for the physically handicapped people in Wenlock Hospital, gave him a windfall offer. To prepare abdomen and spinal cord belts for the patients. There was a steady flow of work which kept him happy. Prabhakar now started to earn well.
Just when it seemed that his family life was going well, another sad incident occurred, when his three children were still very small. A young and trusted relative of his started frequenting his home. Being very familiar, the relative got close with Prabhakar’s wife. They often went out on errands together. But our naïve Prabhakar suspected nothing until his good neighbours reported their observations of their closeness outside of their home.
To save his marriage, he decided to return to his native place in Kerala, where he hoped that this young man would behave himself amidst other members of the family and mend his ways.
It was a routine for his wife to take the finished belts and deliver them to the Wenlock hospital in Mangaluru. Prabhakar recalls, one Friday, she went as usual to deliver the Belts. She would usually return home before 3 pm. But there was no sign of her. He now started to worry as it was sundown. The little daughter who was just 3 years old was hungry and started to cry. There was no food at home and Prabhakar was in no capacity to cook. He sent his son to a nearby shop, bought bananas and made some tea and satisfied the children’s hunger for that night.
He soon learnt that his wife and the relative had both planned to elope together. Prabhakar was devastated. But the good-hearted Prabhakar still firmly believes that his wife was given a country medicine where one forgets family and children. Otherwise, he says, it was impossible for a mother to abandon her little children. Since his extended family was put to great shame, he decided never to take her back ever again. Prabhakar was now left with three little children to look after. With his handicap, he knew he could not make it alone. He went to his mother’s house for help. But he could not hold on there for long as his parents were also aged. In a short span of just 6 months, he was again forced to return to Mangaluru, this time he settled himself at Shakthi Nagar, near Kulshekar, Mangaluru.
When he had lost all hope, another blessing, in disguise, came his way. A neighbourhood girl from his native place who had just got married learnt that her husband had already married and had a son. She refused to stay with him and returned to her parents’ home. Finally, with a promise from Prabhakar not to go back to his previous wife, Geetha married Prabhakar in 1989. He was again blessed with another daughter from his second marriage.
Prabhakar’s family life now seemed to be back on track. His children attended school and grew well in Mangaluru. He married off his elder daughters. His only son went to the Middle East on employment and worked there until he was 31 years of age.
The biggest of all tragedies was soon to befall Prabhakar. His only son who had just returned from Qatar was found hanging in his own room in their home one morning. Prabhakar recalls, he had showed no signs of unhappiness. He had no financial problems, no vices, and no bad friends. They found a suicide note beside the body which he had shredded to bits before he took his life. The forensic experts did their best to put it together to try and learn the reason for his taking this ultimate and tragic step. Even to this day the reason for his son’s suicide remains a mystery to the family.
Prabhakar could not stay in that same house with the painful memory of his son’s tragedy still afresh. So they then shifted to his youngest son- in- law’s home, also located at Shakti Nagar, Mangaluru. Even today he continues to stitch whatever comes to his doorstep. He now lives with his wife, his daughter, son in in law and two granddaughters.
Another challenge of a different kind surfaced for Prabhakar. Old age was catching up. At 64, Prabhakar was no longer able to use his crutches, as his body was frail and his shoulder muscles were no longer strong enough to hold his weight. So, he was forced to give up his dream job of making handicap belts, as he was unable to personally commute and buy the right material for this job.
Prabhakar reflects on his life and concludes that the natural physical challenges did not keep him from achieving his goal, from having a normal life, but his wounded heart is yet to heal from the two swords that were stabbed into his heart by his first wife and his only beloved son.