March 8, 2024
Once you cross the big 30, the urge to party, socialize with friends, or even exert the effort to dress up for mundane tasks like acquiring a few strands of coriander can seem like monumental undertakings. Although every morning I muster enthusiasm to get dressed for work and tackle the day head-on, when the weekend arrives, I find myself drawn to the comfort of my cozy bed. Instead of venturing out, I prefer to indulge in watching some captivating movies, engage in a bit of writing, and immerse myself in the realm of fantasy, escaping the pressures of the outside world.
On one of those quiet and somewhat confusing February Sundays, while my husband was off indulging in his passion for cricket, I decided to nestle into bed and enjoy a movie. After nearly an hour of scrolling through options, I settled on a regional film. Despite not understanding the language, the presence of subtitles gave me the confidence that I could still appreciate the movie. I soon came to realize that I relied heavily on subtitles, finding joy in reading them even more than in the audio itself—a preference that many found peculiar, but which I embraced wholeheartedly.
The movie started out like a typical story, with a handsome boy falling for a beautiful girl, facing opposition from parents, overcoming obstacles, and getting married happily. However, there was a twist. The girl falls ill, losing her beauty, causing her husband to lose interest and leave her for someone younger and prettier. Years later, the wife miraculously recovers, undergoes facial surgery, and becomes even more beautiful and fit. She returns to her husband's workplace intending to teach him a lesson. As expected, he falls in love with her again, but she initially seeks revenge. Eventually, they reconcile and continue to live happily ever after.
This movie felt quite baseless to me, as it fundamentally challenged the stability of a committed marriage. What bothered me most was how the husband's focus seemed to shift solely to the beauty and health of his wife. I couldn't help but imagine a different storyline where the roles were reversed, and the wife had to care for an ailing husband, which would likely be seen as noble. Instead, in this movie, the husband not only left his wife but later returned to her simply because of her looks, and he was accepted back without question.
This left me pondering the true message the movie was trying to convey. As I reflected, I couldn't shake the thought that I had also gained a significant amount of weight after a few years of marriage. Did this imply that in the future my husband would leave me for someone slimmer and prettier? Would it also suggest that only a woman who perfectly conforms to societal standards of beauty and duty has the right to live a fulfilling life? As these troubling thoughts weighed on me, my husband returned home from a long day. When I shared my concerns about the movie with him, he simply brushed it off, reminding me that it was just a movie. He advised me to take it as such and forget about it.
Being a woman who tends to overthink, I couldn't get rid of a certain thought. I kept wondering: has society really changed for the better? I looked back and wondered if in the past, marriages ended just because of how a woman looked or because people thought she wasn't perfect enough. Hearing lots of stories about breakups and divorces lately made me think about this even more. Just when I was feeling full of regret, I remembered a beautiful thing I saw in a shopping mall many years ago. This incident took place almost a decade ago, before I was even married. I was in my early twenties, full of energy and excitement, and in great shape. I loved shopping, especially on my own, and could spend hours exploring a mall without feeling restless or bored.
For an upcoming family event, I had planned to buy a beautiful Indian outfit and decided to go shopping with my friend. Unfortunately, she had to cancel last minute due to an unexpected situation at home. Although we discussed rescheduling, I couldn't bear the thought of sitting at home bored. So, I decided to venture out on my own. I headed to a lovely mall a bit further from home and began my usual routine of browsing clothes and trying them on. This was my daily routine, trying out at least 15 to 20 outfits before settling on the perfect one for special occasions. For casual outings, I usually made quick choices and then enjoyed leisurely window shopping.
On that day, I picked out a few garments and headed to the fitting rooms. Upon entering, I noticed a middle-aged man stepping out of one of the rooms. I was momentarily surprised, unsure if there had been a mistake on his part or mine. Stepping back, I checked the sign on the door to confirm that it was indeed the women's fitting room, and then gave him a puzzled look. He caught my expression and offered a warm smile. I couldn't help but notice the handful of women's dresses he held. Realizing he was likely helping his spouse inside; I returned his smile and entered an unoccupied fitting room to continue with my intended task.
After trying on the clothes I had brought into the fitting room, I emerged to select a few more options. To my surprise, the same middle-aged man was there again, this time accompanied by a stunning lady in a wheelchair. I was instantly captivated by her appearance. She exuded elegance, wearing a beautiful knee-length dress that accentuated her wheatish complexion and complemented her striking eyes. Her hair was neatly styled into a bun, adding to her overall grace. However, it was impossible not to notice her slender legs and the shoes she wore, hinting at an underlying issue. Despite this, she appeared more than perfect in every other aspect.
I couldn’t help but admire them as I roamed around, ostensibly picking up clothes, yet my eyes closely followed their every move. She, a typical woman, was discerning in her choices, dropping hints at different garments, while he happily fetched them for her. Their interactions were filled with laughter and affectionate gestures; she playfully hitting him amidst their shared amusement. Between their exchanges, they visited the trial room, while my hour slipped away without much shopping accomplished.
As I contemplated another trip to the trial room, I noticed them heading towards the billing desk. Suddenly compelled, I swiftly grabbed two dresses I had tried and liked, positioning myself behind them at the checkout counter, though uncertain of what had prompted my spontaneous decision. Standing behind them, I tried to avoid staring, busily scrolling on my phone, when suddenly I was taken aback by a gentle "Hello." The lady in the wheelchair smiled at me and extended her hand. Still unsure and a bit embarrassed, wondering if she had noticed me, I forwarded my hand and greeted her back.
She seemed to pick up on my curiosity as we waited in the lengthy line at the billing counter, affording us ample opportunity to converse. Introducing herself, she inquired about my profession, and upon learning that I was a lecturer, she radiated with joy, sharing that she, too, was a teacher. However, seven years prior, an accident had left her with limited mobility in her leg, forcing her to conclude her teaching tenure at school, though she continued to tutor students at home. Despite this hurdle, she carried on with our conversation with enthusiasm. Towards the end, she swiftly introduced her husband, proudly mentioning they had been married for 15 years. I pondered her emphasis on this fact, wondering if it was to clarify their marital status or simply to express pride in her life partner and share that joy with the world. After chatting for a little while longer, as our time for billing arrived, we finished and bid each other adieu. They moved towards the lift, and I preferred to take the steps. That was it—a brief but meaningful conversation, after which I hadn’t met nor remembered them.
For nearly 10 years, I forgot about them. But after watching a movie and thinking about marriage, they came back to mind. I had doubts about love in marriage and a man's loyalty. But I couldn't forget the middle-aged man I saw in the mall. Maybe he was in his late 40s. He looked strong and handsome. When his wife introduced him, I realized he had a big job at an MNC. Even though his wife had limited abilities, he seemed to love her completely.
I know I can't judge them fully after just seeing them for a short time. They probably had their own good times and bad times. But watching them in the mall, I could see how genuine their love was. He accepted her as she was and treated her with care. He even spent his valuable time making her shopping trip enjoyable. When she introduced him to me, I could see how proud she was. It was clear he was her man.
He could have left her and found someone without any disabilities. But he stayed true to his commitment and loved her for who she was. For me, this was the ultimate proof of love and gave me hope that true love still exists.
Remembering them eased my heart, making me think about women who are unfairly judged for their supposed flaws. Even today, society criticizes women for being short, overweight, having a certain skin tone, hair texture, earning capability, or homemaking skills. Many women face judgment and ridicule, even from their own families.
I couldn't help but wonder: wouldn't it be nice if, like that gentleman, we could see past women's imperfections and appreciate them for who they are? Whether as partners, friends, or parents, we could support them in overcoming their flaws instead of putting them down. Maybe that would be the best gift we could give the women in our lives and those around us.
With these thoughts in mind, I closed my eyes and silently thanked for having a supportive partner. Although he always pushed me and encouraged me to lose weight and teased me playfully, he never treated me with disrespect. I felt truly blessed. Also, I decided never to watch such pointless movies again. Even though they were just entertainment, they made me think a lot.
Deep in my heart, I whispered a heartfelt thank you to that couple. Their brief encounter years ago helped me break free from a troubling thought pattern. I'm confident that wherever they are now, they still love each other unconditionally.
As we celebrate Women’s Day, let’s remember to embrace not only the women in our lives, but also the women around us for who they are. Failing to accept and cherish women as they are rendering the dedication of this day meaningless. Let's embrace and appreciate the beauty of the women around us, allowing them to live and let live.
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