February 14, 2022
Parents are the most wonderful gift we all receive. Their love, care and concern are irreplaceable. They say a good parent preaches but the best parent leads by example.
Like any child I never realized the true value of my parents until I got married. Being the only child, I had received a lot of love and pampering. Yet, I was raised in a well-disciplined manner and not to forget I was a good obedient daughter always.
While being with parents, I never took time to thank them nor did I truly understand and appreciate the value of their upbringing. I enjoyed a beautiful upbringing and got married and took a plunge to family life.
Being married and starting a family brings out a totally new person in you, especially for women they tend to change their entire personality to suit the requirements of the new family. After marriage my life changed a lot, I began to realize how it was to give in completely to a person body, heart and soul.
But like most of the youngsters, my definition of love was not exactly the right one. We all are in the age of WhatsApp, twitter, Facebook etc. The movies and the television programs we see highlight that love is love, only when it is expressed orally. Having being married to a guy who fails to express his feeling in words (like most of the guys) I constantly cribbed and felt we were falling out of love. I expected my husband to say ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’ every now and then. I expected candle light dinners, filmy surprises, chocolates & flowers and when I did not receive all this, I was heartbroken.
On one fine day, feeling sad and dejected I sat to look at the old albums to kill time and that is when my parent’s wedding album hit my eye. I wondered, how they managed to balance their life with happiness and love despite the ups and downs. This entire exercise led to the retrospection of my own married life. They had been married for more than 33 years and in these years, I had hardly heard my dad say ‘I love you’ to my mom. I never saw him carry bunch of flowers or chocolates. I don’t remember my mom ever talking about candle light dinners, yet they were in “love”.
Their love was not mere gestures and words it was more of actions. I knew it was love when dad came home from work tired yet went into the kitchen to help my mom, it was love when dad never complained, no matter how the food was and scolded me when I judged mom’s cooking. It was love when dad did all the work even before mom asking him. I knew mom loved dad, when she took the responsibility of managing both house and work without extra hands to help dad financially. I knew it was love when mom bought home even the smallest piece of sweet, just because dad loved sweets. I knew it was love when my dad respected my mom. I knew it was love when they both chatted happily and shared each other’s problems. I knew it was love when dad took no decision without asking mom, I knew it was love when mom stood behind dad no matter what challenges came. I knew in sickness and health, in happiness and sorrows they stood along. I knew it was love when they fought but made up before going to sleep.
I realized what love was, I was happy because I knew I was also in love. I realized it is love when my husband never complains however the food is, I know it is love when my husband calls home to find that I reach safe. I know it is love when he appreciates me in front of his friends and says he is lucky to have me. I understood it is his love which makes him cancel many of his plans which he would otherwise execute. I know it is love when on my request he switches off the Netflix, just to spend time talking to me. I know it is love that makes him toil hard at work to safe guard a good future for us. I know it is his love that makes him jealous when he sees another man looking at me. I know it is love when he holds my hands while crossing a busy street, I know its love when he wakes up middle of the night and crawls to me like a child. I know its love when he can’t bear the tears in my eyes. I know it is love when we eat together, when we pray together, when we laugh together. I know it is love when he respects me and encourages me in everything I do.
I began to understand the real meaning of love; marriage is a beautiful journey, the journey of ups and downs, the journey with bends and curves but a journey worth living for.
My dad and mom have given me most of the things in my life, but the greatest gift they have given me is the example of their life. Their life, their love for each other as taught me great valuable lessons for life. It is said that the greatest gift a man can give to his child, is to love his mother that is what exactly my dad has shown and I know will continue to do so. My parents had set standards for me to follow. They have indirectly shown me that love is not just flowers, chocolates, candlelight dinners or the holidays. Love is much beyond all that.
Many of us are never happy, because of unrealistic expectations in our marriage or relationship. Let us try to see what we have, rather than what we don’t have. Remember actions speak louder than words. The next time when your spouse forgets to bring you flowers on your birthday but gives you a tight hug and wishes you, be happy because you are the lucky one. Treasure what you have.
Let us love and be loved in the season of love.
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