Mangaluru: 'Harassed husbands' vow to fight against injustices


Daijiworld Media Network - Mangaluru (SP)

Mangaluru, Dec 27: A person, who claimed to have been harassed to no end by his wife, has brought together like-minded aggrieved husbands, to put an end to miseries poor males who are hounded and hunted by wives.

Dr Santosh Kumar Pothedar, who had kick-started his agitation against the anomaly faced by men and started organizing people said to be facing untold miseries heaped by their wives, has planned a walkathon from Telasanga village in Belagavi village to New Delhi, to register strong resentment at section 498A of Indian Penal Code, which he claims, has been hostile towards husbands. He wants to make these men fight for their rights.

'As per National Crimes Records Bureau', 95 percent of men face harassment from their wives. Unable to bear the agony of humiliation and persecution suffered at the hands of their spouses, men commit suicide in the country at the rate of one every nine minutes, and these figures are picked from the crimes bureau records, Santosh Kumar said, addressing a press conference held at Press Club here on Friday December 26.

'I am organizing this agitation to create awareness among men about the need to be alert against the draconian provisions of the said act. I am highly educated, but I always pray that no other husband undergoes the torture I faced at the hands of my wife,' Kumar said at the press conference, which was attended by his second wife, Geetha.

He claimed that women have been misusing provisions of section 498 as a weapon to humiliate their husbands. As per records, only three percent of cases of harassment at the hands of husbands have been found to be genuine, he averred.

He said that the men, once they are framed under the said law, suffer unexplained agony by getting bounced between courts, police, jail and hospital, whereas the wife leads a luxurious life. I have seen so many cases that are similar to mine. In my case, I succeeded in proving my innocence and getting released unscathed. However, by then invaluable years of my life had been wasted. Still, I decided to devote more time of my life for the sake of fighting against the law for the sake of husbands like me, and with the noble goal of rescuing them from the clutches of adverse legal provisions, he added.

Sr Santosh Kumar's demands include setting up of men's commission on the lines of women's commission in the country, formation of ministry for welfare of men, and demand to add section 498 B with the stipulation that in case complaints filed by wives are proved to be false, the wives should be sentenced.

  

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Comment on this article

  • Elliott Katz, Canada

    Wed, Dec 31 2014

    Self-help for harassed husbands
    This article overlook a key question: Why have so many women lost respect for their husbands?

    In researching my book Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man (available from Amazon, i-books and Kobo), women repeatedly told me that today’s men no longer act like they expect a man to be. Many men have heard messages about being sensitive and that manly characteristics, such as showing leadership in your family, are out of date. The irony is that when a man doesn’t show his share of leadership at home, thinking he’s showing his wife what a nice fellow he is, his wife loses respect for him.

    As I’ve shared with men in the 24 countries, including India, where my book has been published: Your wife wants you to be the man of the house. A wife respects a man who takes responsibility for what is going on in their home. A wife admires a man who steps forward to handle difficult situations. She doesn't admire a man who waits for someone to solve the problem. A man will be his wife`s hero if he looks for situations that need to dealt with and deals with them.

    If a man won’t make decisions, his wife will resent him. She wants a man who listens to her views and doesn't want a man controlling her, but she also doesn't want someone who shirks from his share of decision-making. I’ve heard men say that many of the decisions their wives ask them to make don’t matter to them and they let her decide. I advise them: It may not matter to you, but it matters to her. She wants a man who can make decisions.

    Do these things and your wife will respect you and you won't be harassed.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • rahul, mumbai

    Wed, Dec 31 2014

    I am also with you sir .. We should bring all the harassed husband and his family members together to open the eyes of law makers ... days of Sati Savitri are gone .. Today's women can do anything for name , fame and money .. Example is Rohtak sisters .. WE must agitate together on a particular date and a particular place . Strength is in unity.

    DisAgree Agree [3] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rudolf, Mumbai

    Mon, Dec 29 2014

    New Delhi, December 29, 2014: A trend among women filing false rape cases stands exposed with the Delhi Commission of Women (DCW) revealing shocking statistics showing that 53.2% of the rape cases filed between April 2013 and July 2014 in Delhi were found ’false’.......(read full report googling)!!

    DisAgree Agree [4] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rudolf, Mumbai

    Mon, Dec 29 2014

    Recently even a hon. HC has observed that nowadays many fake dowry/rape complaints are filed to settled various types of scores, for extortion etc. and many innocent men especially from the lower strata of society are suffering!!

    Many of the rape/sex assault cases are actually consagnious, but later turned to forcible when things go sour for various reasons or for extortion!!

    Many families lives have been ruined due to such fake complaints!!

    It is high time, law is made gender equal and exemplary punishment meted out to those making blatant fake complaints!!

    DisAgree Agree [4] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dr. J. Lancy D'Souza, Anjelore

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    I also join hands with you in this fight as I have been suffering from past 17 years as my Wife is behaving very funnily and my son doesn't care for the Father. They think that I am a money machine, no emotional feelings at all.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [21] Reply Report Abuse

  • Kusuma Kumari G, Nellore/Kodyadka

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    yes its true, Indian law is such that they belive woman more than men, But modern women are smart, They gang with people and somestimes do torubles husbands for money etc.They divorce for money. Harass husbands for false dowry case etc, I feel high time men also treated as in same lines as husband in marriage and divorce cases, Otherwise we may end up in more divorces

    DisAgree [1] Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • jeetendra hegde, mumbai

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    I too wanna join....hhhhhhh.

    DisAgree Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • Shankar, Mangalore

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    In this age, women do not suppress their ambitions. Treat them your equals, let them work outside, let them wear nice dresses of their choice. Give them their space.
    I will assure, then the marriage will be paradise.

    If you can no more get along well after all your efforts, its better to part than rotting each other all through the only one life.

    DisAgree [10] Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    Well , if most of the marital laws amended to Gender Neutrality , such Draconian women can be sent behind bars for a long time. Its time , men to play victim and get Justice. Besides alpha males take extream steps and do not pay heed nor a single rupee. Moreover its good to see people taking MRA activism seriously , apart from some peaple who find humour in it.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • Be Positive, Mangalore

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    This is from todays Gulf News " Patna: Some married men in Bihar are currently encountering a bizarre marital problem — being ruthlessly discarded by their wives for being “unattractive”. In the past one month, at least three newly-wed brides have abandoned their husbands for being “ugly” and “unfit matches”.!!

    DisAgree Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Be Positive, Mangalore

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    Along with the woman her lawyer should also be sentenced by stripping off his license to practice if the woman has a false allegations as abetting with criminal intentions !!

    DisAgree Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse

  • Sundari Ashoknagar, Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    My husband is an applicant. I recommend for his membership.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [24] Reply Report Abuse

  • Member, Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    More than 1 wife is the only one solution to get in track you agree or not just think and reply!

    DisAgree [8] Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • jacintha, middle east

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    Hello, there is shortage for girls already. More than 1 wife will work, provided the woman also has more than one husband. Chaos - going back to the stone age.

    Anyways, the solution is in finding more wives.. huh?

    DisAgree [2] Agree [7] Reply Report Abuse

  • Abdul majeed, kc road

    Sun, Dec 28 2014

    mr. santhosh we r behind u... we found many fake case against their husband and their family... and sufferd lot from them... can you provide me ur no.?

    DisAgree Agree [7] Reply Report Abuse

  • c.fernandes, mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    This guy is with second wife. If harrasment was so horrible from his first wife he wouldn't dare to marry second time. But for me it seems like this fellow loves to be harassed by wives.

    DisAgree [22] Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • vellano1, Mumbai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    this was a law brought by Renuka chowdhary, because, her daughter was going through a rough marriage!..

    recent victim of this law was "mandolin Srinivas, such a mighty talented guy, suffered in hands of his wife and died ill"!! anyways, this needs be amended, before many suffer..

    btw, I know the dowry harassments, new married suffering in her in-laws hands and all.. this is no way encouraged!.. Only those who misues the case is what I am against it, because, law gives them a preferential treatments..!

    DisAgree [1] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jossey Saldanha, Mumbai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Better to abandon wife and live separately like our FEKU ...

    DisAgree [10] Agree [26] Reply Report Abuse

  • Antony Fernandes, Mangalore/USA

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Dear Dr Santosh Kumar Pothedar.

    I strongly feel that you all should get together and fight against the Lawyer’s in other words (Liars) because of them in most of the democratic countries truth becomes lie and lie becomes truth. They are the master minds in all these problems. Law is always made with good intention and not to harm anyone. See, how many accidents are taking place all these drivers know that their liars I mean Lawyers will bring them out without paying single penny compensation to the dead or injured.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [13] Reply Report Abuse

  • Ryan D'souza, I.C.Colny/Mumbai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    This is very good move to save men's lives, 98% men die much before his wife dies, in that almost 70% men's facing harassment from their wives directly or indirectly that causing them many kind of sickness like High Blood Pressure, Sugar, Heart Disease, drinking, smooking,roaming in the town, city with no reason then go for Good Bye one day, this called ‘Silent Killer’

    In a true incident right around the corner,totally lazy gossip wife put her hard worked 75 yrs old husband in the corner, got sick reading same news paper 100 times day which he really don’t want to do, made disputes between kids and father.. and now suffering.

    As I am social worker in my experience, whenever I meet different men’s clubs in the society, they say only one word of sadness that killing them-‘ Artificially Created Internal Problem from Wife’

    DisAgree Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • Mohammed Ali, Manglore/K.S.A

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    All the mes’s should be stand united and support to Mr. Santosh Kumar’s demand to add section 498 B with the stipulation that in case complaints filed by wives are proved to be false, the wives should be sentenced.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • Sachidanand Shetty, Mundkur/Dubai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Is there any membership fees? But Identity should be kept secret too. Else double trouble for all members!!!!!

    DisAgree [3] Agree [5] Reply Report Abuse

  • Stan, Udupi/ Dubai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    GOOD move. To be encouraged by all men and husband loving women.

    DisAgree Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Salian, Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    I am not against women but Dr. Santhosh has a valid point, he is right "some women have been misusing provisions of section 498A as a weapon to humiliate their husband" I think his idea of adding section 498B for men's commission is good. Lot of men's are suffering from their wife, but it is not coming to the limelight I think SC & HC must look in to this subject.

    DisAgree Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • Allen, Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    May God save these hen pecked species from extinction!!

    DisAgree [13] Agree [22] Reply Report Abuse

  • avinash, ksd/bluru

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Any applicants for the post of secretary for 'Patni Peedithara Sangha'? Along with the application, need to submit NOC from their wife.

    DisAgree [11] Agree [13] Reply Report Abuse

  • Kiran, Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Pathni peedithara sangha - pathniyannu peedisuvavaru... undu bethene..pudar bethe avodu..

    DisAgree [2] Agree [1] Reply Report Abuse

  • mohan prabhu, mangalrore/ottawa

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Hey guys! You don't get this still? It is the case all over the world. Men are mere pawns now for better or worse and you better learn to live with the situation by tact and wisdom. Men still have the law of divorce to back them if they dare!

    DisAgree [4] Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • common man, Mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    ...My neighbour wants to join the group... but is too frightened that his wife will come to know!!!

    DisAgree [2] Agree [51] Reply Report Abuse

  • Stan, Udupi/ Dubai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Then no option for him except____________-.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [14] Reply Report Abuse

  • Sachidanand Shetty, Mundkur/Dubai

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Oh Oh common man…. By now everybody came to know who wants to join the group!!!!! By the way, we got to know two things in your life…..i.e. neighbour none other than you!!!! and secondly you too afraid of your wife for sure like others too!!!!

    DisAgree Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jamal, Mangalore/UAE

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Boss..
    Who is your neighbour. Or is he your neighbours neighbour. Please specify. We are all with you.

    DisAgree Agree [3] Reply Report Abuse

  • sankara, sanoor

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    true.. this is darker side of society,law should be amended to sentence to women who make false allegation to achieve their hidden agenda.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [71] Reply Report Abuse

  • Master, mangalore

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Our law is pro feminist in character...such a high suicide trend by poor husbands this is alarming one men commiting suicide every 9 minute...concerned authority need to look into it...Most of the pro feminine law are misused

    DisAgree [2] Agree [56] Reply Report Abuse

  • wasim, udupi

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    how sad...bcs of this 90% husband die early in their life.......

    DisAgree [4] Agree [94] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jamal, Mangalore/UAE

    Sat, Dec 27 2014

    Another option not to get married. But you will die earlier than expected.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [4] Reply Report Abuse


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