Mangalore: Teenage Girls Falling Prey to Puppy Love
Special Correspondent
Daijiworld Media Network - Mangalore
Mangalore, May 28: Adolescence is considered to be the most turbulent period for children and also to their parents and both of them go through an agonizing phase during this period for a variety of reasons. One of the most worrying aspects of this period is that an increasing number of teenagers, especially teen girls of well off or middle-class background run away from homes or rather elope with their lovers. It is nothing but puppy love, that feeling of intense affection and infatuation marked by immaturity and unreciprocated emotions, the reason behind such an extreme step by the teenagers.
One disquieting aspect of this trend is that the boys or men (mostly married with children) these teenagers choose to elope with and even marry happen to be unemployed school drop outs or those with questionable backgrounds, some without a stable job with meager salaries which is often not enough to take care of their own needs. Finally what happens to the lives of such girls once the initial period of lust and infatuation slowly makes way for reality is anybody’s guess. By the time the girls realize the enormity of their mistake it will be too late. Most of these girls drop out of schools/colleges to elope without realizing the importance of education to lead a life of dignity and self reliance.
No Future Thoughts
Once bitten with love bug girls believe they are madly in love and spare no thought for the life ahead. These girls are often made to believe in filmy-kind of stories like rich-girl meeting a poor boy and they getting married after all the drama, and they living happily ever after. While this is a perfect story for a film in real life it is hardly the reality and that is where the trouble lies.
Some of teenage girls who elope come back only after getting married on turning 18, the legal permissible age of marriage for girls and parents can do nothing about it. Most of the times these eloped couple are school drop outs and one can imagine the difficulties they might face in their future lives if they continue to carry on with their puppy love turned marriage and lead a family life. If the boy/man chooses to desert the innocent girl after making her pregnant, the girl and her parents will be left to carry the cross over the shoulders forever.
Psychologists attribute this trend to many reasons. With teenagers finding easier means of constant communication with their young infatuated beaus through mobiles and SMSs, brainwashing young and immature girls becomes easy for these boys and men who often take advantage of their innocence and lack of maturity to deceive them. Television and internet are also the major culprits in providing an opportunity for girls to float in their dreamland of love and infatuation.
The recent incident of a 16 year old girl from Bangalore going to Tirupathi along with her 24 year old lover, a married man, pretending to be husband & wife to find accommodation and their parents going to the court, is well known. After her mother, a widow filed a habeas corpus the police traced her in Channai. The girl was however bent upon being the second wife of his lover and it took herculean efforts on the part of authorities to send her back to her mother.
Worst still is the case of a 13 year old girl, still a child, running away with a 21 year old boy who had come to her house for some building-related work. Parents who found the girl missing one fine morning naturally approached the High Court with a habeas corpus and the innocent girl who was even unable to decide what she needed comes back with her parents without much ado once the court directs her. It is said that very few girls have the common sense to make a turn around and return to their parents while many continue to suffer silently unable to cope with the realities of life or unable to adjust to their shoddy new abode.
Judiciary for Help
According to a recent statement by Chairperson of Karnataka State Commission for Women 36% of the missing cases of teenage girls are directly related to love affairs. There is also a new trend of grief-stricken and worried parents oblivious of their teenage daughters going missing all of a sudden, approaching the court to get their child back through habeas corpus. Only after the police are able to trace the girls most parents realize that their teenage girl has eloped with her lover. If the girl is a minor the court has no other alternative other than sending her back to her parents. But by then the life of the girl is completely ruined and very often (knowing our Indian society), she will have to repent for her blunder all her life.
As per Bangalore crime branch reports, in 2011 alone 1,638 teenage girls, some as young as 13, had eloped with their lovers, out which 1,356 were traced by the police. This is a pointer to the enormity of the situation on hand and the need to tackle it with caution.
Just a fortnight ago in Mangalore there was the news of Department of Women & Child Development and Child Welfare Committee (CWC) rescuing a 17 year old girl from getting married to a 35 year old man. While child marriages in that community to which the girl belong is said to be common, one wonders what might that might have prompted the parents to get their daughter married off to a man more than twice her age. Asha Nayak said that the Child Welfare department has appointed a Probationary Officer (PO) to investigate and submit a comprehensive report to the department. She also said that parents of the girl would be counseled to take her back into their fold.
Thanks to the intervention of these departments, this teenager is now rehabilitated by CWC and is admitted to college to continue her studies and CWC will take care of her for another two years, says Chairperson of CWC Asha Nayak. Asha Nayak says TV soap operas and our films are the major culprits in encouraging this trend among teenagers. She says “it is the upbringing of the children, the lifestyle, lure of glamour and the ignorance of law that makes teenagers take such an extreme step of eloping. Proper counseling at schools/colleges would go a long way in helping the girls to overcome such temporary distractions”. She also says that these days at most homes both parents are working and children find themselves drawn to those who show some interest in them or pretend to be too concerned, resulting in puppy love and the consequences there upon.
In May 2011, the Karnataka High Court had delivered a landmark judgment in the case of Avinash and Sanghvi who had got married in May 2011 without their parent’s consent and both had attained legal marriageable age at the time of marriage. Delivering a judgment in their case the judged ruled “In our opinion, the girls below the age of 21 years are not capable of forming a rational judgment... It is relevant to mention that those girls, who are suffering from hormonal imbalance, easily fall prey to the boys and fall in love, marry and repent at leisure... the Hindu Marriage Act does not deal with love marriages ... In our opinion, Parliament had not taken into account the love marriages when the Bill was introduced….”
The court had also observed “We have seen many cases of run-away love marriages and untold misery and hardship of the parents and the girls. All the love marriages are not successful. In the event of failure of the love marriage of the girl, it is the girl and her parents who have to suffer…The girls, later on, realise their mistake that they were hasty in love marriage and repent at leisure. (sic)”.
In just about 2 months after this landmark judgment in six cases girls over 18 but less than 21 years who were produced in the court were told to go with their parents, after being ‘married’ , evidence of marriage, notwithstanding.
While court intervention is always welcome, counseling at high schools and at college level, citing real life incidents, is a must for boys and girls. Even parents need to a keep a tab on their teenage children, keeping the interests of their children and their own interests in mind.