By Florine Roche
June 28: The discovery of the corpse of a 76-year-old live-alone lady Marie Aranha recently almost 4 months after her death is a poignant reminder of the decaying values and traditions in our country. It makes us wonder whether we are the same people who believed and still believe to some extent that "a good neighbor can make your neighbourhood a better place to live in". That the neighbourhood of Marie (might not be in close vicinity) was oblivious of her of her death for so long, gives a telltale picture of how detached people have become in today’s commercialized world. That nobody including her neighbours and relatives realized anything amiss for four long months or even bothered to complain about the stench emanating from the house, is a perfect example of a society becoming insensate, especially towards its senior citizens.
The pitiable condition of our senior citizens is certainly a grim reminder of our rotten value system making one wonder whether we have completely given up our sanathana tradition where parents are most revered and respected in our society and where children are encouraged to honour and respect their parents. What is the fate of the senior citizens in our coastal districts of Dakshina Kannada who live with their spouses or live alone as their children go in search of greener pastures to lands of opportunities? In our busy everyday life we have failed to spare a thought as to how the elderly are able to cope with failing health, financial constraints, depression, loneliness, harassment, emotional stress, physical strain and physical and mental abuse, social insecurity and even threats to their property and lives. Old age is the most vulnerable age where the elderly are susceptible to various kinds of trauma, age-related fears and insecurity primarily arising out of their loneliness, neglect and even threat to their lives. It can be recalled here that Marie Aranha was attacked by some thieves, injuring her in the process and that injury must have acted as a contributory factor for her death.
Social activist Dr Olinda Pereira, who runs "Vishwas", a day care centre for senior citizens believes that in Mangalore there are many incidents of elderly people being abused, blackmailed or even neglected. "But everything is hushed up or hidden for fear of facing ridicule from others", she says. No doubt Marie Aranha was personally responsible for her own ruin due to her haughtiness and incommodious behavior, if we are to go by what we have heard from the media. She might have had her own reasons for keeping away from everyone and even for rejecting the police advice to move to an old age home or to keep in contact with the police station regularly. That she had registered a complaint with the police about the robbery in her house, causing her injury a few months back, should have impelled the police to direct the beat police of that area to keep a watch on her house. The police department therefore cannot shy away from the onus of their failure in not knowing about her death.
Prof Hilda Rayappan of Prajna Counseling Centre says she is helping an elderly lady who is abused by her son as she is all alone ever since the death of her husband. Though the house is divided into two parts shared by mother and son, the son has well nigh converted the mother’s house for his business activities, thus causing harassment to her. Prof Rayappan is helping her to avail the "Reversible Mortgage Loan", introduced by the national government to provide a steady stream of income for the elderly. This facility, Prof Rayappan feels, would not put reluctant elderly people at the mercy of their children when they can fend for themselves.
Now, the focus should be on how to prevent such incidents from recurring and on how to provide the safety net to these vulnerable sections of the society, in the dusk of their lives. The state, the society, family and kith and kin have to work in unison in safeguarding the interests of the senior citizens and not to treat them as a burden. The problem is going to be acute and calls for necessary action in the coming days considering that the younger generation from these coastal districts are migrating to diverse corners of the globe for a better career in large numbers.
There are quite many in Mangalore who have taken their old age in their strides and prefer to safeguard their independence and freedom, old age notwithstanding. They prefer not to be a burden on their family and love the freedom that comes with staying alone. At 85, Elsie Concesso of Capithanio lives in her own house though her son and his family lives in another house in the same compound. But she is self reliant, manages her own affairs and with "Meals on Wheels" facility available from June this year, which takes care of her food needs, she is happy to be her own mistress, trying to live in her own terms as long as she is mobile. She has registered herself with Pandeshwar Police Station, for police protection, a facility long as provided for senior citizens in the district. This means that the beat police will keep a track on her house and they even visit her once or twice a week to inquire about her well being. Just last month she could avert a burglary in her house by being alert but could not prevent the burglary of her son’s house in the same compound when her daughter-in-law had gone abroad to visit her husband. When she noticed the house was burgled she called up the police immediately and they came, though they could not trace the thieves. "The police protection which I get from Pandeshwar Police is helpful and comforting as they visit me once or twice and month and keep an eye on me", she declares.
Despite taking all precautionary measures it is not that easy to prevent some untoward incidents concerning the senior citizens as there is no foolproof security, especially when they choose to stay alone. Dr Olinda Pereira recalls an incident in Falnir a year ago, when an old lady had died in her sleep and the family came to know about it the next day when one of her relatives went to deliver grocery to her home. Since the door was locked from inside he to call the police to break open it.
Writer Manorama Bhat of Urwa Stores, wife of advocate late Muliya Mahabala Bhat, also stays all alone for the last 10 years. One of her sons is in America who visits her once a year and the other son is in Bangalore, who visits her often. She has registered her name in Urwa Police station which provides her police protection. The beat police visits her home once or twice a week and signs on the point book kept at her place to register that he has visited her house. "I have great faith and respect for the police. They call me "Amma", which fills my heart and their words of assurances makes me feel safe", Manorama recounts. Agnes Lobo of Kadri Kambla Road, who is also 80 plus also prefers to stay alone though one of her four daughters is in Mangalore and keeps visiting her often. Her third daughter who is in Nalgonda in Andhra, visits her once in two months. She was not aware about the police protection facility available for senior citizens but said she would soon make use of it.
Sub-Inspector of Urwa Police station Suresh P says that police protection facility is available to senior citizens who are above 65 who live as a couple or alone. All they need to do is register with the police station of their area and the beat police who are in charge of that area is required to have a list of senior citizens in that area and visit them once or twice a week and if required provide necessary help. Senior citizens can also keep the numbers of the beat police with them or call the police station as and when they need any help. "Vishwas", run by Dr Olinda Pereira, also has a helpline – 1090 for senior citizens where they or their family members, relatives or neighbours can call and seek timely assistance, as and when required. In 2008 the central government has introduced the Reverse Mortgage bill where senior citizens who own a house can avail a monthly income my mortgaging the house in the bank. "This is the most reasonable and sensible law passed by the government where senior citizens above 62 years can avail the benefits of this law and nobody can throw them out if they own a house", she pointed out. This, of course, is applicable to only those who own a house.
Just a few decades ago the plight of the senior citizens was not miserable as it is today. The breaking of the joint family system and the emergence of nuclear family system has made the senior citizens feel they are a burden on their family. Moreover modern living demands husband and wife both work, which leaves the elderly at home all alone and that loneliness coupled with many other issues leads to depression and everything that comes with it. With domestic maids and servants becoming a rarity their plight has become more wretched. As Hilda Rayappan puts it "with husband and wife forced to work to keep up with a certain living standard the elderly who are at home are bored, dejected and feel lonely. But we cannot blame the children also for such a situation".
It is not that everyone is compelled with such a situation where they need to work. We have heard and seen instances where children have abused their parents and even driven them to the streets, depriving them of their property. Those children who have the wherewithal of taking care of them have either pushed them away to the dark corners of the home or have taken the easier route of keeping them in old age homes. So we cannot put the blame entirely on circumstances or compulsions of living for the sorry state of affairs our senior citizens find themselves. It may be argued that there is no hard and fast rule saying children have to take care of their parents or elderly or sacrifice their career. But we have certain values and responsibility towards our elderly as fellow human beings.
In our country we are familiar with the phrase "Matru Devo Bhava and Pitra Devo Bhava" – which means we have to treat our parents as gods. It is true, forces of modernization, technological advances and social mobility have changed our lifestyles and values. Sadly, with that our bent of mind and our responsibility towards senior citizens has changed or rather degenerated. That is the saddest part.
Marie Aranha's Case: