November 17, 2011

Date: 05-01-1976 (Monday)
This is first Monday of the year. The New Year brought some curious change within me. I can feel the excitement. The fluffiness is stimulated by her presence in my mind. It began on the party night of 31st December 1975 on New Year’s Eve. It’s not that I saw her for the first time. I knew her from my primary school, though she studied in a different school. She lived in an old model palatial house surrounded by concrete fence.   She has been my classmate for last one year and I was never drawn towards her. I remember speaking to her without any special magnetism. During the New Year bash we exchanged pleasantries. The inspiration or enthusiasm to dance with her never really occurred. It’s more like a calm sea until the arrival of a breeze that turned into a storm. I remember having a glance at her when she stood beside me at fag end of party while playing bingo. She smiled with a reserved warmness. There was depth in her eyes that invited me to go drown into them. Her gaze pierced my mind and body. She looked stunningly beautiful in her white dress, more like an angel except she didn’t have wings. By then I was wrecked by anxiety. Today she appeared in my early morning dreams. I was about to brush my lips unto her and then the alarm woke me up. Truly speaking I am overwhelmed by the desire to kiss her lips. By then I am unsure if she has similar feelings towards me. If not I will make it happen.

Date 06-01-1976 (Tuesday)
The much awaited encounter took place at college gate.  Her tender smile resembled the smooth texture of fresh spring rose and her lips evoked the silky feel of rose petals covered with morning dew. The motivation to invite her to ice cream parlor did emerge. I am short of funds. I am annoyed with Mom for delaying my pocket money. I do not know if she would have accepted my invitation for ice cream. Nevertheless if she had agreed I would have gone a step closer in making my desire a reality. I still bemoan the kiss that missed in my yesterday’s morning reverie. I hope she would revisit in my dreams

Date 07-01-1976 (Wednesday)
I slept yesterday night with new found gusto to catch her back in my dreams. The much anticipated recurrence didn’t take place. I am saddened by the missed dream opportunity. A day without her is like a day without sunshine. Unfortunately she was absent and I was completely distracted during the first hour of Economics class. Nothing entered in. I skipped the second hour of Statistics class and rambled outside her compound. I tried to peep from gate and an Alsatian appeared from nowhere. The growl made me nervous and I ran off. It was scary. Nonetheless I had the chance to get acquainted with her Mom. By evening I was in the bus that returned from central market place. She was standing with her mate and I offered my seat. She accepted the seat with an instant reaction…. ‘Such a sweet boy!’… How could I say no to such joy? I am sure she is impressed. I heard her talking to her friend. This is when I realized that her daughter had missed the classes due to viral. Down with cold and fever there is no way I could invite her for ice cream, though today I had enough cash. Anyway I prayed for her quick recovery. I kissed and posted a ‘get well soon’ greeting card without sender name. 

Date 09-01-1976 (Friday)
Sadly she was not in attendance. By evening I walked across the lane close to her house with the hope of having a glimpse of her. On second successive day the Alsatian chased me out as I went nearer to the gate. It looks like I may have to get immunized for Rabies if I have to get closer to my kiss. No risk no reward! It’s just that I don’t want to die before I kiss her. I don’t like tragic end. This dog’s intervention is irritating. Today evening I met her younger brother on my way back from public library. He is around nine years and somewhat funny. He mentioned that his father is retired army colonel, they have a double barreled rifle and his father’s favorite sport is shooting. That made me uneasy. Young man also reported his father had destroyed a greeting card that had come from unknown sender. The news dampened my spirits. My father in law seems to be unkind and heartless towards his son in law. It’s tough to deal with authoritarian fathers who keep their children on tight rein. However I can not afford to be frail hearted. Love eradicates fear. I should be bold enough to kiss her. I am waiting for my best opportunity. If not, I will create one.  

Date 10-01-1976 (Saturday)
I was truly thrilled to see her presence in the class. I found her pale and weak. The fever must have taken its toll. I do not know if her miserly father has given her vitamins to boost her immune system. I am almost encouraged to present her a bottle of multivitamins. I would be embarrassed if my gift is refused. Let het recuperate from frailty. Then perhaps I can invite her for an ‘Al Pacino’ movie and press on for the kissing moment. Today I am in upbeat mood. I offered my note books to cover up the missed classes. Believe me, she accepted my books and thanked me with broadest possible grin.

Date 19-01-1976 (Monday)
She returned my books during the last week. However the lack of progress in my affair bothered me. Today I followed her to library. I managed to occupy the seat behind her chair. The breeze from the fan blew her lustrous hair on top my face. I inhaled a deep breath and sensed the scent of her hair. Then I couldn’t control and sneezed for a while. It worked to my advantage as she turned and looked at me. We walked out of library and spoke about the annual examination. I must say, she sounded quite friendly.  I borrowed the Accountancy Text book with the pretext of meeting her again. She wanted it back without much delay. I assured her to call and return within couple of days. I requested for the landline number and she imparted with some hesitation. It’s not easy to call her for ice cream or for a movie. I am too tensed and deeply nervous to extend such invitations. I called her late evening on landline to say good night. Her father’s resonant voice thumped my ears. I disconnected the line. Now I am going to bed with the unfulfilled wish to smooch.

Date 05-02-1976 (Thursday)
She reminded me the Accountancy Text.  I reassured to give it back by evening. I have been using ‘delaying tactics’ to find an excuse to visit her home. Now the time is appropriate as the exams are not very far. I fondly kissed the book & had my evening coffee before stepping out of the house. I peeped in from the gate. Luckily the dog was chained. Unexpectedly the dog jumped up, trying to attack with his paws. He roared and growled as if possessed by a demon. Her father opened the door and stood with his double barreled rifle. I raced out of the lane without looking back. I walked across to park and on my way back met her younger brother. I offered him chocolate ice cream. He said “Thanks Uncle” while accepting the cone. Being his would be brother in law, I don’t like to be addressed as Uncle. I accompanied him to his house to deliver the book. His father collected the book without inviting me in. I didn’t like the attitude of my father in law. I never had the chance to see if she is around. A fleeting look would have been enough. Of course the craving for kiss continues to live within me.

Date 14-02-1976 (Saturday)
Yippee! I found a greeting card of heart shaped outline with dove and winged cupid. After placing a red rose in between, I left the card inside the third row desk at her much preferred seat. She appeared with her friends and atypically settled down at second row seat. My Valentine’s card and red rose stroked the wrong target. Fortunately I had not written my name. 

Date 28-02-1976 (Saturday)
Not much advancement has taken place for last few days. We have been given the revision holidays. I know life is pretty dull without her. At times I feel like calling her. Somehow my feelings are obstructed by her father and his rifle. I would like to concentrate on my studies and want to do well in my exams. The constant distraction is a cause to worry. I am not in great mood to write my diary. 

Date 31-03-1976 (Wednesday)
Today was my last exam and she smiled at me while stepping down from staircase. That pleased my senses. It looks like she has done well in her exams and I am not too happy with my performance. She was in a group of her friends and I didn’t get a chance to talk. I will have to wait for the reopening of the college to push for an affair.

Date 30-04-1976 (Friday)
Results are declared and I failed in Economics. She had done well with first class. I am happy for her. By evening I experienced some kind depression and finally decided to call her. The telephone buzzed for sometime and I waited with anxiety to hear her voice. Luckily she picked up the receiver and I congratulated her. I was ashamed to tell that I failed in Economics. She expressed her sympathy that made me to feel better. In distraught voice I asked if I could drop in when nobody is around. She thought for a while and agreed without much hesitation. She categorically invited me on 13th May and stated that everybody would be out by 5:00 pm. It is such a pleasant surprise. I should say, it’s by far the most exhilarating, exciting and joyous moment of my life. Now I know the much awaited kiss is not very far.

Date 12-05-1976 (Wednesday)
OMG….. It’s too much to wait for tomorrow. My gut feeling suggested she as well is interested in me. Perhaps she too has the desperate desire to experience the first kiss. Wow! I am in seventh heaven and can not wait anymore.

Date 13-05-1976 (Thursday)
I took a shower by 4:00 whilst thinking of warm and passionate kiss. I emptied a glass of Horlicks and covered myself with my most favorite attire. I applied gel, styled my long hair and sprayed my Dad’s expensive perfume. The novelty of this feeling was special and unforgettable. William Shakespeare had rightly said ‘when love speaks, the voice of all the gods makes heaven drowsy with harmony.’ I would rather say, ‘kiss is the key to unlock the door to discover love.’ After looking in the mirror, I believed I am no less than a movie star. My reflection spoke in volumes. My Mom suspiciously gazed at me. By 5:00 pm I stood at their gate. What really surprised me was the silence. The ambiance lacked the tension without the Alsatian. The door was locked and it seemed nobody was around. Their neighbor came closer to inform that Retired Army Colonel has sold his property and relocated to a faraway city with his family. The news shattered my illusions of first kiss.  I think she was frank in her disclosure. After all I had communicated my desire to come to her place when no one is around. She had honestly & perfectly invited me to her home when everybody was out, including her!